Sunday, May 28, 2006

FBI searches for Hoffa?

I have a BETTER idea. Put Sears Home Improvement division on the case. I offer the following as my proof:

When my dad went into a nursing home in 1999, we had his mail forwarded to our house. All of the investment bankers found him. All of the credit card companies found him. All of the time share people found him. All of these people invited him to fancy dinners,or offered "free" movie tickets while seeking his "estate." I should mention that he retired from the fire department, so SERIOUSLY, how much of an "estate" could he have? Anyway.

In 2003, my husband and I bought a piece of land and have just completed building a house on it. We just have not yet forwarded any of our mail to this house. Oh, this house has an address. And a functional mailbox, too.

What is DOESN'T have is my father. See, he died in 1999. So, christ on a bike, how did Sears Home Improvement branch find him there?

A note to the FBI: forget looking for Hoffa. If you haven't found him in 31 years, I'm not sure you ever will. For a sure thing, call Sears Home Improvement. Provide Hoffa's last mailing address and I'm thinking that they'll find him in, say, 7 years or so.

13 Comments:

Blogger Serra said...

Tell them to make sure to tell Sears his age and approximate estate value. They'll have his ass dug up in three days.

5:01 PM  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Sears will find you any fucking where you go.

6:00 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

I bought the book, "I hear you paint houses," which is about Hoffa's disappearance (among other things), about a week before they started the search. Talk about irony. It's a great read, and goes into a lot of other historical shit which was going on at the time. Fascinating.

I just checked Google News re: Hoffa, and turns out they're looking at unearthing a tree, as they suspect he might have been buried beneath a tree 31 years ago.

I'm with ya on this one, they should have Sears do the search!

10:09 AM  
Blogger patti_cake said...

Sears is the DEVIL. Hate them

12:21 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

They're ending the search for Hoffa btw:

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Hoffa-Search.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

2:24 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Michele in Michigan said...

LMAO at you guys!!

5:41 PM  
Blogger Pisser said...

Jeez. And I always thought it was morbid when my mom's ex, a widower, kept getting Frederick's of Hollywood catalogs for his dead wife o_O

8:06 PM  
Blogger Cece said...

Creditor can find anyone, anywhere. My mom always told me that and after that story I know its true

4:55 PM  
Blogger Forest Lady said...

Yep, those Sears police can find anybody. So can Sprint and MCI.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Jimmy's somewhere underneath I-696 for sure.

8:07 AM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

PS: I thought of this particular post today when I received a letter from the VA informing me about that security breach regarding the compromised veterans' info on that stolen laptop... I got out in '92... haven't updated anything...

Big Brother is indeed watching!

10:40 PM  
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