Thursday, December 29, 2005

Rude Asshole Shopper

After work, I wandered through the housewares section of Kohl's just before Christmas. As I am intently looking at a deep fryer (yeah, I KNOW my ass is the size of Kansas! STFU already!), I hear this obnoxious voice YELLING at me.

"How much are these vacuums?" bleated the fat man in the plaid coat and earflap-hat.

I looked at him and said, "I don't know," and went back to browsing.

Almost immediately, he sarcastically said, "Well, you'd sell a hell of a lot MORE of them if they had PRICES ON THEM!"

Annoyed with his assholity, I replied, "I don't CARE since I DON'T WORK HERE!"

He never even apologized (sheepishly or otherwise) for mistaking me for a sales clerk. I mean, if I see somebody wearing SCRUBS in a store I know I immediately think, "Now THERE goes a SALESPERSON!"

The ONLY fucking similarity was the presence of a NAME TAG which, if he'd even REMOTELY glanced at it, said "RN" and didn't have the KOHL'S name on it.

Does his group home supervisor know that he was out in public unattended??



Blogger Laurie said...

that's funny, because the same thing has happened to me when I've been in a store in my scrubs.


9:08 PM  
Blogger Big Cute Lady said...

The home probably has an all out missing persons alert on his ass. Be nice to old people, please.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Pisser said...


I've done that once or twice, just because the person was wearing a) the same color as the company "uniform", or b) a vest of any color, but I was heartily embarrassed & didn't get all pissy about it...old men. Sheesh.

It's like when they can't hear, and they're MAD AT YOU because they refuse to wear a hearing aid. They think you're DELIBERATELY being quiet *so that they can't hear you*.


10:05 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

In the spirit of "L'espirit d'escalier" you should have said,

"Merry DOUCHEMAS, Assfuck, I'm not a salesclerk."

See, and I would have expected that behavior from a homeless crack-ho shopping at The Big K.

11:30 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

Hello, me too! I've learned not to wear RED in target anymore!!

BTW - I highly recommend the DeLongi ROTO FRYER. It spins in a basket so the food is submersed all the time. I fill it with extra light VIRGIN olive oil - the food tases yummy and is also good for you! Heh, heh, heh.


12:43 PM  
Blogger dashababy said...

Gawd your funny woman! I read your comment over at Pissys' and had to come tell you that you make me laugh. Thanks :-)
This post is funny too. What a dickhead he is. No let me rephrase, Stoopid ass dickhead!

Next time, play along like you work there. Thats always fun.

5:06 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

PS: I highly recommend that you check out, as you can not only get yourself a 35 quart turkey fryer, but also a case of fleet enemas, a rabbit vibrator and benwah balls.

So I've heard...

5:20 PM  
Anonymous Schmancer said...



9:24 PM  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Holy shit. That is funny.
The other day I was at my TOYS R US store and I had my badge around my neck for work. I was dressed up decent in slacks and a sweater and nice dressy boots and I had 3 MOTHERFUCKERS ask me where they could find this or that.
Not that there is anything wrong with working at the fucking TOYS R Us but for fuck's sake..leave me the fuck alone.

10:06 PM  
Blogger Anne R. Key said...

I woulda given him a rectal right there in Aisle four....

11:18 PM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

Two words:


And if you didn't have one handy, I'm sure a hose off'n one o' them vacuums would have done nicely.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists said...

Floyd suggests that next time you should play along. Quote him a price, then keep an eye on him as he goes to check out.

"Oh, that's on clearance for $15", then watch his head explode when it rings up at $119.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Pokey said...

People are so freakin' stupid. I don't know why he thought you worked there when you are in your scrubs. Geez.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Some Random Girl said...

that was hilarious! I laughed out loud and read it to my hubby! good one!

6:12 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists said...

*sniff sniff*

Something about old posts and lazy fucks...

10:22 AM  
Blogger Kami said...

What an asshole!

1:48 PM  
Blogger Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Thanks for the laugh;>

I don't really know what causes people to make those assumptions. I cannot recall one single time that I've made that mistake.

3:02 PM  
Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

that's happened to me in Target a few times. Just because someone is wearing khakis and a red shirt doesn't mean they are an employee. Idiots!

2:21 PM  

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