Monday, December 05, 2005

Walking Dolls

A blog friend brought up an old memory of "walking dolls." In the 1960's, the manufacturers in toy land thought that little girls needed an almost-life-sized doll to "walk" with them. They were supposed to work by cranking one of their arms so that their stiff plastic legs would march Hitler-like next to you. Great. That's all this little girl with a fully-accented German mother needed in a redneck neighborhood. Why didn't they just come up with a full-face swastika tattoo kit?

I got one of those "walking" dolls for my 4th birthday. I was a really tall kid & she came up to my chin. I never DID get that bitch to walk! I don't know if it was because I was just stupid or uncoordinated. My parents thought it was cute that she and I had the same blond curly hair. Little did they know that in my young mind I was concocting a shrewd plan!

They'd tuck me in and go to the kitchen for a snack. Meantime, I'd tuck the DOLL in my place and high-tail it into the living room, behind a recliner, to watch TV. We'd watch TV as a family, unbeknownst to them. They'd go to check on me and all they'd see from the bedroom doorway was a curly head sticking out from the covers. They never even considered that I might be perpetrating fraud upon them! I did this for a couple of years, believe it or not!

HAHA! Not only did my sneaky 4 to 6 year old ass completely blow my bedtime "curfew," but I got to watch "late night" TV, too! (which, back in the 60's was 9 or 10pm LOL)

My dad never found out, but I confessed to my mom when I was a teenager. She laughed like hell that I'd been able to come up with the idea & actually pull it off for so long.

Good times :)


Blogger wordgirl said...

God dang it! I remember those dolls. I never had one, though. I did have a Thumbelina doll with a crank in her back that you wound up. She would turn over on her own. I tried to cut her hair, but it didn't grow back. That's what I got for listening to my grandfather...not the German one...the other one.

12:58 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

I had one of those zombie dolls, too.. Never thought to put it to good use like you did, though!


10:49 AM  
Blogger Pisser said...

Clever girl...just so you weren't warped by "late night" TV, and your parents never decided to get it on on the sofa...

I never had dolls because they always creeped me severely. However, I probably would have endured one if it meant I got to watch HBO.

Remember that "My Buddy" creepy-assed boy doll? Eeek.

7:39 PM  
Blogger SignGurl said...

Those stiff legged freaky dolls were the craziest. LMAO at your description of the German girl goose stepping with her doll!

9:47 PM  
Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Those "My Buddy" dolls were the freakiest. I think they were invented by pedophiles.

2:15 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists said...

Floyd is certain you can get the full-face swastika tattoo kit from Michael Moore's website. It is probably available on the DNC site as well.

4:50 PM  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

LOL Floyd!

I had one of those dolls also. I never liked her cuz she was so darn hard and unbending. The soft dolls we could throw at each other without the trips to the ER for stitches.

I still have Big Kid's My Buddy Doll.

8:44 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists said...

Floyd is a total and complete sucker for cleavage. Floyd is at your command.

10:17 AM  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

You have always been an evil genius. You can work in my lab-or-a-tory any time...

1:57 PM  
Blogger Lost said...

I still have a creepy doll I had when I was about 3 or so. She's dressed like a hippie and walked AND danced! LOL I used to love that thing, now I find it kind of creepy lol.

5:01 PM  

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