Tuesday, November 29, 2005

You cancelled yourself, man

To the guy in the business suit at lunch today: I was really gonna give you your props for taking that loud-ass cell phone call immediately out of the dining area.

However...

The fact that you didn't think TWICE about blowing the most vile fart in the 4'x4' heated vestibule negated that desire.

Tearfully yours,
Me

13 Comments:

Blogger Laurie said...

He just had to go and ruin it, didn't he??

Men.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Serra said...

Aw, shit!

2:28 PM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

I'd have had to hand him a book of matches, and kindly request that he blow himself...up.

But I find I'm getting more and more ornery as the semester progresses.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Pisser said...

WoO. Farts + heat = bad business...I've experienced that on the bus.

It's amazing how just one individual can stink up an entire city bus/metro train car.

7:23 PM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Yanno, those Glade Press & Fresh things are so discreet. You can carry them in your purse or coat pocket, and are quite handy to mace errant farters. PUBLICLY. Love it!

10:59 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

heh heh heh :) thanks for coming by and saying hello :)

3:31 PM  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Good God woman.
Shit.

8:35 PM  
Blogger Anne R. Key said...

My mother was really short (just under five feet) and at Christmas time, especially in bookstores when it was hard for her to get at the shelves she needed for shopping, she would occasionally lay a silent but deadly egg and wait for the fumes to dissipate, driving away the other, taller consumers.

It was a radical, but effective strategy.

11:41 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists said...

Fart and shit stories. Floyd is always amazed at the quality of content on this site. Perhaps you should be pitching "WTF" to the Bravo network?

3:48 PM  
Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

look, some folks just have persistant gas, alright. no need to put them on blast....hahaha...get it...on "blast." Whhoooo, I crack myself up. Oh yeah, funny story.

1:14 AM  
Blogger snaps79 said...

I gave you a shout out over on my blog. Come look.

11:54 AM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Re: vile farts

I found that the Jalapeno Burger offered at TGIFridays (which contains: fried jalapenos, pepper jack cheese, spicy chipotle mayo and pico de gallo), when augmented with a nice helping of raw, red onion and extra mayo produces the rankest, spiciest, tangiest, most nose-hair-burningest farts. It's like you're farting radioactive effluvia.

Whilst consuming the aforementioned burger, I just KNEW the damage it was going to make.

4:00 PM  
Blogger Bossy♥'s YOU said...

u r a complete crack up..first time visitor..

I come from MI...but I dont live there anymore..so I gotta show ya the love..

keep up the funnies...

too bad about the nasty fart..what a man whore

10:47 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home