Monday, July 03, 2006

Can You Hear Me Now??

I'm driving home from work this morning on some 2 lane roads. I am behind a truck, but we're not crawling along, so it's OK. It's nice & sunny and I am enjoying the relaxing drive.

Before I know it, some tail-gating asshole is right up on my ass. He actually starts leaning to the left in his seat, almost sticking his head out the driver's side window. Then he's riding the yellow center line, looking for opportunities to pass me & the truck. Problem is, he doesn't STOP riding the yellow line at any point while he is behind me. All I can think is, "I'm NOT gonna do anything to SAVE your dumb ass when you get into a head-on crash." He recklessly passes me and the truck, without much room from oncoming traffic. What a dick.

Several miles later, I find myself behind HIM at a traffic light. I notice what looks like a cell phone up against his right ear. I said to myself, "No wonder he's driving like such an asshole--he's talking on his cell phone!" Then he starts moving his head around, giving me a clear view of his head. When I noticed that he had a matched set, I realized NO he WASN'T on a cell. Those were his EARS. Holy Fucking Shit on a Stick.


Blogger patti_cake said...

OMG Shit Michelle you made me piss my pants this morning! Thanks a LOT

9:17 AM  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...


1:23 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

LOL, hilarious entry! I remember when I was learning to drive, my L plates seemed to attract tailgaters. Scared me so bad!

7:19 PM  
Anonymous jae fox said...

Big ears, little.....oh, never mind.

7:35 PM  
Anonymous jailbait said...

I need to stop reading your blog at work! I laugh out loud and then everyone in the office KNOWS that I'm not working.

6:11 AM  
Blogger StopSpamming said...

I gotta get me some of those :)

3:05 PM  
Blogger Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Well, with ears like those, maybe he should be like Dumbo and fly instead of tailgating and driving like an asshole...

8:10 PM  
Blogger Pisser said...

HAHAHAHH! That's great. My aunt once recognized a family member she had never met before as being related because he had "Edelstein ears".

Excellent not be pissing off a nurse, or when you crash, they will not help your dumb ass :D

Pee-ess: HEPPY BIRFDAY, mofo-!

1:49 PM  
Blogger Serra said...

Sheesh! I bet them puppies pick up the air traffic controllers at the airport!

8:59 AM  
Blogger CP said...

*LOL* Open cab doors.

Fly away Dumbo! Be free!


8:52 PM  
Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

can't surgery fix that?

8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

15 days and counting...update this sucka!

1:52 AM  
Blogger CrankyProf said...

That picture looks like Harry Connick, Jr...

2:43 PM  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...


8:50 PM  
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