Thursday, May 26, 2005

Spring Break 2005 (part 6)

Considering that we didn't close our eyes until after 2AM, the chances were slim to none that we'd make it into any of the amusement parks before noon. Since this was the girls' Spring Break trip, I figured I'd let them set the pace. I had NO desire to be a commando and pushpushpush them this week.

We ended up just vegging, and then going grocery shopping. We knew that amusement park food & drinks were expensive so we decided to just "graze" our way through the parks & eat our more substantial meals elsewhere in Orlando. We bought loads of shit to eat. I think we covered all of the major food groups and THEN some lol.

I'd told everyone that we'd buy for the room but if there was anything special that they wanted for themselves, they'd have to pay for it. If 2 or more of us wanted it, then it came from the group grocery money. It was interesting how Tiva picked out all sorts of things--"Mmmmmm, those are SOOOO good!" or "THIS is GREAT!"--but didn't seem to want them when I asked, "Did you want to put this in your own personal-pay pile in the cart?"

When we came back from grocery shopping, it became clear why Tiva needed all that fucking luggage. Apparently her outfits could only handle being exposed to sunlight ONCE before needing to be changed. And did I mention that the same was true for her hairstyles?

I have absolutely NO problem if someone needs to change soiled clothing, or adjust for the weather. I DO have a problem if their obsession imposes on the REST of us. And it DID. Not only did outfit selection take 10 minutes, but re-doing her hair typically took over 1/2 an hour. And that was AFTER the curling iron got hot enough to use.

The rest of us just sat on the bed, looking at each other in silence. :blinkblink: We ended up watching parts of a bunch of movies. Did you know TBS has some great chick flicks?

It didn't matter that we told her that her outfit looked FINE. We told her that her HAIR looked fine. Obviously, we didn't know what the FUCK we were talking about because she'd re-do it all anyway. Did I mention that she packed FIFTEEN pairs of shoes? All of them kitten heels, and most of them some type of black sandal. WTF?

The assholes that we were, we allowed her to do this to us for almost 2 days. On the third day, we just walked out & started leaving her behind. She got the hint and severely cut back on her clothing/hair Jones.

The girls would go to pool and she would lag behind to fix herself up, complete with fresh makeup and kitten heels. I wanted to scream, "YOU ARE GOING INTO A FUCKING POOOOOOOOL!!! WHY DO YOU NEED FRESH MAKEUP??? AND WHAT'S UP WITH THE KITTEN HEELS?????" But I don't think she would have understood me. It was becoming painfully clear that we were definitely from different planets.

I told her that she needed to curtail her cellphone use to beginning of the day/end of the day-type calls because she was with US. I told her that she was being rude & inconsiderate. Bobble, bobble. We compromised. In addition to those times, she used her phone while on the toilet (yuck) and during her many trips up and down the stairway. Whatever. At least I wasn't on the other end, listening to her speckle the bowl. Again, didn't her momma teach her that it's rude to shit in someone elses ear? Whatever.

We went to IHOP for dinner & had the greatest.fucking.pancakes.ever. Believe it or not, they had cream of WHEAT in them! The food was pretty cheap, but guess who got wide-eyed at the prices AGAIN? "Dang, thoser some 'spensive sammiches." I made sure to ask for separate checks, or I'd end up paying her tax. FUUUUUUUUCK. I reminded everyone to drop a buck each for the tip.

After everyone had paid & gone to the car, I went back to the table to find she had NOT tipped. Again. I dropped an extra couple of bucks on the table. I realized that her lack of tipping was NOT a mistake, fluke or fuck-up. It was intentional. And that pissed me off even more.

I got into the car & decided to try a little subtlety. "There wasn't enough tip money left on the table." Each of the girls said, "I left a buck." Except Tiva, who just stared wide-eyed out the rear passenger seat window. I didn't know a human being could go without blinking for that long.



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