Thursday, May 26, 2005

Ive been thinking...

and don't bother with the "Oh, I THOUGHT I smelled smoke in here" comments. I was reading about naked Barbie dolls on someone's blog & it got me thinking about my own Barbie dolls.

In the old days, Barbie was made of some pretty rigid plastic. I remember when her perpetually high-heel-shaped feet would tear into my leg as I would valiantly struggle to dress her. I could NEVER seem to make those tiny clothes come down over her boobs. There was never any "give" to any of the tiny tops. So what was a little 6 year old girl to do?

I took her outside and proceeded to grind her boobs to stumps on the driveway. Did you know that when you grind Barbie's tits on concrete, you end up with HOLES on her chest instead of simply flat boobs like I'd planned? Oh well, she was my UGLY Barbie anyway, the one with the fuzzy white 'fro whom I ALWAYS made the evil grandmother of my OTHER (read: prettier) Barbies. At least her clothing now fit!

Flash forward about 30 years. I end up with breast cancer. BOTH boobs have to go, although not the "death by concrete driveway" method, although it probably would have FELT the same LOL.

Huh, now neither Barbie nor I have nipples. And MY tops fit WORSE. Sigh. Do you think it was bad karma? Either way, I am just damn glad that I never tried to make her anatomically correct "down there."


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