Musings

My kids love me. Probably because I say "fuck" a lot.

I was pretty amazed that my daughter actually ASKED me to chaperone her senior trip to Florida with 3 of her friends. Her friends are actually HAPPY that I'm going. I am considered a "cool" mom. Again, probably because I say "fuck" a lot. I also think like them. It is so weird to look into the mirror & see a 44 year old face staring back at me when I still FEEL like I am in my early 20's.

I have the same fucking twisted sense of humor. I have the same sarcastic wit that caused me to forever be in trouble in high school. I have the life experience to backup the shit of which I speak. And, of course, I have the education to end sentences which phrases like "of which I speak."

I try to make things FUN wherever I go--I am always doing OUT THERE kinda shit. I am a great mimic & do great voices. I make up twisted songs about the ugly babies in the nursery. Or their mothers. Or their fathers. "Ohhhhhh, I see he got his DADDY eye!" hehehe

Even being a fat chick (which I am working to change...bah), I feel I am allowed, no, ENTITLED to pick on other fat people. Not to their faces, of course. But my humor tends to be more observational.

For instance, why is it that every dumb fuck with a cellphone starts trying to dial the goddamn thing as they are entering a freeway??? Why can't you MERGE first, you fucking merging-impaired ass-wipe, BEFORE you focus on the keypad? Do you think your family would rather hear you say, "Hey, what's up? I AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" (insert sound of twisting metal, crunching under the weight of a semi)

I would say that they are fucking retarded, except that would be an insult to retards everywhere.