Sauna Edge!
I am almost done with the human waste posts. Almost. This one isn’t really all that offensive (sorry, readers!).
I remember trying to potty train my daughter. She was about 2 years old and couldn’t quite get the hang of telling me she had to go to the bathroom before it became a Toilet Emergency.
We were in a grocery store, she in her training underwear and plastic pants, and I in my big-girl panties. She always carried a cloth diaper (“DiDee”) as her security blanket; she couldn’t go anyplace without it. She started moving rather slowly as we walked through the frozen food section, taking exaggerated steps, bogging us down.
“C’mon honey, let’s go pay for our stuff,” I said
The only response I got from her was the dragging of feet and a really faint sloshing sound. Oh, Christ. She peed and didn’t tell me.
“Did you pee in your pants?” I asked her.
Silence. But there was a wide-eyed guilty look about her. I lifted her little dress, and saw that her plastic pants resembled a plastic baggy full of piss. Without hesitation, I yanked her beloved DiDee out of her hand and shoved it down into her plastic pants so she wouldn’t leave a trail to the checkout. She was mortified at DiDee’s fate and began to wail.
I tried to comfort her, and reminded her that she needed to tell me she needed to go potty.
She looked up at me with this sweet face, and in her 2 year old-speak said, “But it wasn’t sauna edge yet!”
Looks like we’re gonna have to work on our toileting cues.
I remember trying to potty train my daughter. She was about 2 years old and couldn’t quite get the hang of telling me she had to go to the bathroom before it became a Toilet Emergency.
We were in a grocery store, she in her training underwear and plastic pants, and I in my big-girl panties. She always carried a cloth diaper (“DiDee”) as her security blanket; she couldn’t go anyplace without it. She started moving rather slowly as we walked through the frozen food section, taking exaggerated steps, bogging us down.
“C’mon honey, let’s go pay for our stuff,” I said
The only response I got from her was the dragging of feet and a really faint sloshing sound. Oh, Christ. She peed and didn’t tell me.
“Did you pee in your pants?” I asked her.
Silence. But there was a wide-eyed guilty look about her. I lifted her little dress, and saw that her plastic pants resembled a plastic baggy full of piss. Without hesitation, I yanked her beloved DiDee out of her hand and shoved it down into her plastic pants so she wouldn’t leave a trail to the checkout. She was mortified at DiDee’s fate and began to wail.
I tried to comfort her, and reminded her that she needed to tell me she needed to go potty.
She looked up at me with this sweet face, and in her 2 year old-speak said, “But it wasn’t sauna edge yet!”
Looks like we’re gonna have to work on our toileting cues.
posted by Michele in Michigan at 5:04 PM
2 Comments:
this is one to break out when she brings home dates. and pics of her bare asses. kids love that. really they do.
Oh yes, I remember all too well the cloth diaper and rubber pants days in our home! Our son put me through a simular experience when he was around 3 years of age. We had gone shopping that day and although he was daytime toilet trained, he was still having regular accidents, so I decided to pin a double diaper on him that very day with a pair of rubber pants over top, just in case. Good thing I did! We had just arrived in town from the country, a 45 minute drive from where we lived, and there it was, the odour of poopy diapers! I was furious, and dragged dear old son right out from his baby car seat by the front of his diapers and rubber pants, then proceeded to give dear old son a good proper, old-fashioned spanking through his rubber pants and thickly padded diapers for his number, then proceeded to buckle him back into his baby seat, and drive all the way back home again to change him! After changing him into fresh diapers and rubber pants, I made a call to our loving babysitter who promptly came over within minutes to take care of a baby now back in cloth diapers and rubber pants again, so that I could retain some of my sanity when I arrived back in town to do the grocery shopping. Ah yes, motherhood can be challenging at times and it's so comforting to know that I wasn't the only mother who went through such memory altering experiences! Thanks for the great blog!
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